Bancuri...daca aveti chef sa radeti..molipsiti si pe altii..!

[Vizitator futac_cta]

Profesoara :Ia sa vedem Pepito la ce timp este urmatoarea propozitie :
Mama mea a nascut un bebelus.
Pepito : Prezervativ imperfect !

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[Vizitator futac_cta]

Ileana isi concediaza, dupa numai doua luni, menajera. Înainte de a pleca insa, angajata ii spune cu naduf:
- Sotul tau mi-a spus ca palariile tale imi stau mult mai bine mie. Si sint mai buna ca tine si in pat ...
- Asta tot sotul meu ti-a spus-o?
- Nu, postasul.

[Vizitator futac_cta]

Un tip se duce la doctor.
Tipul: Doctore sunt impotent.Ce sa fac?
Dr: Am o metoda moderna: Trebuie sa bei lapte de mama.
Se duce tipul, da o groaza de bani pe un litru de lapte de mama, il bea si...nimic. Se duce iarasi la doctor:
Tipul: Doctore, am baut si nimic!!
Dr: Pai cum ai facut?
Tipul: Am luat un litru de lapte si l-am baut!
Dr: Nu e bine! Trebuie sa-l bei direct de la sursa!
Se duce acasa tipul, cauta o doica, o plateste, se pune la san si incepe sa suga. Si suge, si suge....La un moment dat femeia incepe sa se excite si zice:
-Nu doriti sa va dau si altceva inafara de lapte?
Tipul: Daca s-ar putea...o CHIFLA...

[Vizitator futac_cta]

Un baiat isi invita prietena sa ia cina la el acasa si ca totul sa decurga cum doreste el, isi cumpara un papagal pe care il dreseaza ca atunci cand prietena lui sa va aseza pe canapea sa spuna 'Fute-o ma,fute-o ma'.Se face ora la care trebuia sa apara tipa dar in locul ei apare bunica ei care o scuza pe tipa ea fiind plecata din oras.Fiind amabil, baiatul o invita pe batrana sa ia cina cu el .Dupa cina batrana se aseza pe canapea, iar papagalul incepu'Fute-o ma,fute-o ma '.Atunci,rusinat de intorsatura situatiei, tipul se duse nervos la papagal si ii trage o laba sa taca.Peste cateva zile o noua invitatie la cina pe care de data asta fata o onoreaza, iar dupa cina, cand fata se aseza pe canapea, baiatul tot astepta ca papagalul sa spuna ceea ce il invatase .Vazand ca papagalul nu are de gand sa spuna se duse la el si il intreba: -Ce ai ma, de nu spui ce te-am invatat? Papagalul raspunse: -Laba mi-ai dat, laba sa faci!