Anunt Umanitar Versus ``o Rugaminte``

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Oki bre....ti call,ti call...pune telefonul sub perna si stai in alerta maxima    

Pentru tine îl văcsesc şi-n roşu... şi-mi trag şi secregaură!

 

http://static3.depositphotos.com/1003940/195/i/950/depositphotos_1955875-Sexy-Blonde-girl-with-red-phone.jpg

[g2br13l]

Deh, mare la stat, mic la sfat!

 

Păi de sabie ţi-e ţie frică???

 

       Nu. Dara sa stim si noi s-avem vreo alifie ceva.Sa fim pregatiti.

 

     Nea Cactuse cum fuse bre ziua de munca la noul job?

  Fu multumita Randunica de prestatia matale? Zi-ne si noua la astia invidiosii daca-i dotata ca fata din imagine.Ne trebuie alifie daca aplicam si noi la jobul asta? Plata se face in cartofi sau ceputza ca eu sint pe mercurial si vreau sa trimit si eu C.V.-ul pe e-jobs daca salariu e decent.

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Zi-ne si noua la astia invidiosii daca-i dotata ca fata din imagine.Ne trebuie alifie daca aplicam si noi la jobul asta?

 

La cât îi de alunecoasă Coniţa Rându, precis că după ce o bagă se mai măreşte cu vreo 20-30 de centimetri - numai aşa ca să ne arate cine-i şefa!!! Eu unul nu m-aş risca fără alifie cu anestezic, vreo 2 tuburi!

[g2br13l]

Asta este.Bagam si noi o clisma inainte ca sa fim pregatiti

[Vizitator cactusjack]

@gabriel...ziua fuse buna bre,insorita si fara `intemperii`

alifie nu trebe bre,ca ori te aduce-n stare de te umezesti naturlich,ori te freaca cu cePUTZA pana-ti lacrimeaza `dosu`  

@nea Vuittoane...pai ce bre,o are telescopica???    vezi ca stii cam multe...SECRETOSULEEEEEEEEE  

 

P.S....pana la ora asta sunt pe plus...deci una peste alta,a fost o zi buna  GOOD JOB...........

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Gonflabilă, @Neţeposule, gonflabilă! Nu am am avut plăcerea, încă!

[Vizitator cactusjack]

@nea Vuittoane.........pai ce faci bre, dormi pe matale???...daca n-ai trecut prin patul randunicii(cel cu inimioara) si prin strapon-ul ei,ai trait dijeaba bre

[Vizitator MrVanity]

@nea Vuittoane.........pai ce faci bre, dormi pe matale???... daca n-ai trecut prin patul randunicii(cel cu inimioara) si prin strapon-ul ei,ai trait dijeaba bre

Am trecut eu prin multe...

"Prin foc, prin spangi, prin glonti, prin fum,

Prin mii de baionete,

Urcam, luptam... iata-ne-acum

Sus, sus, la parapete.

"Allah! Allah!" turcii racnesc,

Sarind pe noi o suta.

Noi punem steagul romanesc

Pe crincena reduta."

[Vizitator cactusjack]

@ nea vuitton

 

Vrei s-o ai, nu-i complicat,
Foarte mulţi au încercat,
Dacă vreţi, vă şi explic:
Se "deschide"... doar c-un "click".      

 

ON-TOPIC:

 

Internetul …Bata-l vina !

Va spun un lucru strict secret
M-am abonat la internet
In prima zi de stat pe chat
9 gagici am agatat

Si le-am chemat la 7 fix
La barul din cartierul X
Cand le-am zarit pe toate 9
Doamne, parc-am intrat la ZOO

Prima-i bruneta cu par drept
Pe maini, pe fatza si pe piept
Si m-a privit zimbind usor
Trantita intr-un carucior

A doua insa m-a uimit
Cu nasul ei cel ascutit
Putea sa taie castraveti
Dintr-un judetz in alt judetz

A treia mi-a rinjit cuminte
Cu gura fara nici un dinte
C-un jet de stropi s-a prezentat :
“Salut, sunt Silvia Scarlat”

A patra tipa cred c-avea
Vreo 4 tone si ceva
Din fusta-i stramta de nailon
Faceai trei huse la camion

Pe-a cincea n-o vedeam de loc
Doua grisine-n virf c-un smoc
Spre mine cand s-a indreptat
De la efort a lesinat

A sasea-i buna, ma incita
Insa de-a saptea e lipita
Vai ce mirifice fapturi
Trei maini, un ochi si doua guri

A opta arata beton
Proptita-n carja si-n baston
La 83 de ani si-un pic
Mi-a zis c-ar vrea sa-i fiu gagic

A noua tipa, dragii mei,
Te dizolvai in ochii ei
“Eu sunt Marina” mi-a soptit
O noapte-ntreaga ne-am iubit

Acuma daca vreti sa stiti
De ce am ochii obositi
Si merg mai cracanat putin
Marina mea era… Marin!      

[g2br13l]

@gabriel...ziua fuse buna bre,insorita si fara `intemperii`

alifie nu trebe bre,ca ori te aduce-n stare de te umezesti naturlich,ori te freaca cu cePUTZA pana-ti lacrimeaza `dosu`  

@nea Vuittoane...pai ce bre,o are telescopica???    vezi ca stii cam multe...SECRETOSULEEEEEEEEE  

 

P.S....pana la ora asta sunt pe plus...deci una peste alta,a fost o zi buna  GOOD JOB...........

 

  Nenea Cactus tu cum te-ai umezit ?

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Precis de la ochii Rândunicii...

http://static.cinemarx.ro/stiri-cinema/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Puss-in-Boots.jpg

[Vizitator cactusjack]

 `Nenea Cactus tu cum te-ai umezit ? `
Am vrut sa ma umezesc natural dar nu am facut celebrul `click` si in cele din urma m-am umezit prin frecarea cePUTZEI    da roade sa stii......    

[g2br13l]

 `Nenea Cactus tu cum te-ai umezit ? `

Am vrut sa ma umezesc natural dar nu am facut celebrul `click` si in cele din urma m-am umezit prin frecarea cePUTZEI    da roade sa stii......    

 

 Gata ma bag si eu.Sper sa foloseasca ceputza de apa. :laugh2 Randunicoooooo ti-am trimis C.V-ul meu! :laugh2

[Vizitator cactusjack]

Gataaaaaaa..........esti ca si straponat  hai lasa...tu sa fii sanatos................ca eu unul nu ma plang  

[Obsedatu']

Cand vad atata bucurie si pofta de viata, nu ma pot opri sa ma intreb, oare ce substante "fericite" folosesc acesti domni? Nu fiti egoisti si impartasiti cu noi! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!

[Vizitator cactusjack]

Fericirea are un singur nume....STRAPON!

 

am zis........

[ventrino]

Mai jos aveti un ghid, pentru amatorii de senzatii tari  si nu numai   :

 

 

 

"For many years a relatively little known activity has become progressively more popular among heterosexual partners.  More commonly referred to "strap-on" sex it deals with the female's penetration of the male, specifically the anus. More widely considered to be a part of the fetish realm, strap-on sex (a.k.a. "pegging") has captured the imagination and curiosity males as well as females. To be sure, even now relatively few couples incorporate the strap-on into their intimate repertoire.

Strap-on sex provides an entirely novel experience, in which the male assumes asubmissive role. The female may find it appealing to take a dominant role, with the opportunity satisfy herself of what it might be like to have a penis. It is indeed a role reversal, physiological and on an emotional level.  Although a surprising number of males are curious and may secretly fantasize about this experience, most would never act upon the desire for fear of homosexual implications. For those undaunted individuals who might seriously consider engaging in "Strap-on" sex, we've attempted to provide a helpful guide to allow you to pursue your secret desire.

The following items are necessary accoutrements to engage in strap-on sex: the female partner will need to be fitted with a strap-on harness, as well as an insertable dildo. Dildo's are available in  phallic or simple spike shapes, which may be preferable to the male. The harness will need to be sufficiently secure, so that the female will have her hands free to engage in other activities. Regardless of dildo's shape it's a good idea to choose a smaller diameter initially, before moving up to a larger size. A water based quality lubricant, latex gloves and a means of cleansing (anal douche or similar) are also required.

Prior to engaging in any anal activity the male must be spotlessly clean. The best way to be sure that this is so, is by cleansing the rectum with an anal douche. It's not recommended to use a full enema for this purpose since a more copious amount of liquid may yield undesirable results. The objective is to cleanse the rectum, but not the colon.

 

Click on any of the following images to enlarge.

 

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/44_small.jpg The female may begin by first relaxing her partner, stroking stroking and teasing the buttocks as well as the scrotum and testicles.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/48_small.jpg Be sure to penetrate the anus gradually. The anus orifice should never be poked or prodded in a hap-hazard manner. Using a latex glove apply gentle, firm pressure against the orifice with a well lubricated middle finger. 

 

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/47_small.jpg Using the pad of the middle finder push firmly against the orifice. It may be desirable to rub the finger against the anus in a tight circular motion. The anal orifice is packed with thousands of nerve receptors which make it very sensitive to touch and easy to stimulate.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/56_small.jpg  Once the sphincter muscles have relaxed it will be possible to slide the finger inside without exerting too much pressure. A receptive anus will actually "draw in" the finger, which is a sign that the anus is becoming more comfortable.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/55_small.jpg The fully inserted the finger may now be rotated in a cork-screw fashion. The finger may be pushed in and pulled out, but never beyond the sphincter muscles. Do not withdraw the finger entirely and then attempt to push

it back in.

te>

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/60_small.jpg Hold the dildo in your hand and apply a generous amount of lubricating jelly (not oil) along the shaft. Apply the same jelly to the anal orifice. There can never be too much lubrication.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/63_small.jpg Inserting the dildo should done in a similar manner to inserting a finger (which had been described previously). Although the  dildo is larger than a finger, the anal orifice should be dilated to some degree by now. If insertion proves difficult do not attempt to force the dildo inside, but rather use a finger to digitally relax the anus more thoroughly.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/65_small.jpg Once the dildo has been permitted to enter the anus, continue to push, but very slowly. Initially it's best to push in small increments. Be sure to verbally communicate with your partner and to reassure him that you will enter only as far as he feels comfortable. Initially this may not be all the way.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/74_small.jpg Slowly begin to withdraw the dildo, but do not pull it out entirely. It is more comfortable for the male if some portion of the dildo remains inside him the entire time.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/80_small.jpg Begin "riding your partner", while grasping his hips. You may repeatedly push in and withdraw (although not completely). An alternative is to remain motionless, while the male partner pushes backwards into you. The latter allows the male to chose the depth, speed and rhythm of the penetration.

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/Strap%20On%20Images/82_small.jpg If you choose to rhythmically thrust, do not use a fast motion. A speed similar to that used during intercourse is generally too fast for anal penetration. It's not desirable to attempt to emulate what might be observed in adult movies. "

 

sursa: http://www.whitelotuseast.com/StrapOnGuide.htm

[Vizitator cactusjack]

Multumim nene ventrino  da` de ceputza nu zice nimic bre in ghidu` lu` matale

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Cand vad atata bucurie si pofta de viata, nu ma pot opri sa ma intreb, oare ce substante "fericite" folosesc acesti domni? Nu fiti egoisti si impartasiti cu noi! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Niște resturi de absint (în sânge) și o doză masivă de cofeină!

 

Long live the long strap-on!

[picon]

Nea Cactuse,vaz ca o dadurati pe ceputza,da' morcovi...morcovi,nu gasirati?

[Vizitator cactusjack]

@nea picoane,nu gasiram...uite bre oferta facuta de Randunica...``de la mama de la tara cate un cartof, o ceputza, cateva rasaduri, doua fire de arpagic ``...pui mata` o vorba buna sa ne puie si morcovi la oferta???     

Sau stii mata` ceva...la morcov ii mai zice si strapon???.......ca vaz ca d`astia are  
  

[picon]

Pai ie vezi nea Cactuse,ia vezi...

[Vizitator MrVanity]

Hai că îi terminăm fetei toată grădina de zarzavaturi şi rămâne cu vărzuţa neciufulită...

[Vizitator cactusjack]

E ciufulita deja....ca cica are `varzuta` de Bruxelles......

[g2br13l]

E ciufulita deja....ca cica are `varzuta` de Bruxelles......

 

     Sa intelegem ca se muta breasla de maseuze in Benelux? Ca cealalta celebritate pleca la Amsterdam   Daca se duce si Randunica dupa varza a pus-o rau de tot.